Working out with the Kids

Like my older brother, I'm always on the lookout for an exercise machine to adorn one of my rooms. Unlike my brother, I actually use them for their intended purpose and not for hanging up your laundry. Let's face it, there's nothing like an efficient workout; who wouldn't want to be chiseled like one of Michelangelo's sculptures investing just 20 minutes/day? Recently, I got the perfect rip deck in the mail. Of course on the box there's this picture of a model with 2% body fat wearing nothing but a pair of sneakers and shorts using the machine. So I opened up the box and both kids were extremely excited. Not because their father could now work out and be healthier but it was just from the excitement of opening a box, any box with wrapping. As I removed the contents of the box and started setting up the machine, D (who was 6 at the time) stopped me. "No, no, no! You have to do it this way!" He stripped down to his underwear and started doing push-ups. K at age 3, always having to imitate his brother, followed suit. So I had 2 kids in their underwear doing push ups in front of me. Just like the model on the box cover. Uhh....okay, kids. Want body oil to go along with that like the guy on the box?

Pacific Rim - How it should have been - Chapter 1

Opening scene - Forget the whole background story from the film. Nothing is worse than showing off all your goods in the first 2 minutes of a film, i.e. - Michael Bay's Transformers. This starts off in what seems to be present day. But there's no date or year mentioned. We just know that we're in the modern world. Let's establish the characters and develop them a little, first. 2 brothers are engaged in a training session at Travis Air Force Base in Northern California. Brothers are Raleigh and Joe-Shmoe. Let's just call him Josh. Although they're brothers and they're wicked competitive and very skilled as seen in their flying styles. But they're very close, as well. After the training session, Raleigh and Josh are changing in the locker room (eye-candy for the girls) and discussing what an important evening it's going to be and that Josh better not be late. Josh asks, "You think she's actually going to say 'yes' to you?". "Of course," Raleigh answers with an arrogant smirk. Then they can talk about some brotherly love stuff and how Raleigh is so happy that his baby brother is going to be his best man, yadda yadda mushy mushy stuff. Then Josh asks if their brother, Anders will be there tonight as well. Raleigh looks deeply disappointed and answers no, that their brother has to work late tonight. Cut to next scene Night time. Raleigh and his girlfriend, Yuri are taking an evening stroll with the Golden Gate Bridge all lit up as the back-drop. They talk about something trivial. Raleigh suddenly lags behind, takes a knee, and proposes. Yuri is ecstatic and says yes. Smooch, smooch, smooch. Scene fades out with their silhouettes against the Golden Gate Bridge. Cut to next scene Still night time. Josh is waiting with Anders at a restaurant. Raleigh and Yuri walk in, it's a big surprise that Anders is there, everyone is happy as they sit down at their table and start talking about the proposal, the ring, the wedding, etc. It's during this time that shows the interaction between the 3 brothers that they're all very close, but especially Anders and Josh, even though Anders works in the private sector. Suddenly, the ground starts shaking like mad. Vases are falling, dishes are smashing. Women start screaming. It appears to be a really bad earthquake. The shaking continues for another 20 seconds as people hide underneath the tables until it stops. Things settle down and become quiet for a couple of minutes. People come out of hiding. The shaking starts again, but this time continues on and doesn't stop. Raleigh says, "this is one hell of an aftershock". Anders, who is a seismologist answers, "this is no aftershock....." No sooner does he finish that sentence when there's this monster-sounding roar that shatters all the glass in the building. The shaking continues and it's apparent the building is starting to collapse. Raleigh yells for everyone to run and get out of the building. The 4 make a mad dash for the exit, but so do the 100 other people in the restaurant. Raleigh and Yuri are holding hands but amidst the chaos they are separated. Yuri falls down and gets trampled as Raleigh and his 2 brothers are swept away by a human tide of panic-stricken people. The brothers are pushed outside of the building before they can gather themselves together. Raleigh immediately says he's going back in to get Yuri and heads towards the door. He's followed by his brothers and they enter the building, when suddenly the whole building collapses under what appears to be a giant clawed foot. It's hard to tell because it's black and dark. Camera pans out to San Francisco at night. This gigantic black silhouette-monster is trashing the city, destroys the Golden Gate (just like they wanted in the original movie), and continues to trash the Bay Area. And the Kaiju doesn't stop until the entire place is leveled. It then returns to the ocean. Meanwhile, back at the restaurant. Raleigh wakes up. He's partially buried under some rubble, but he's able to get out with just a broken arm. He digs Josh out, who's still alive but hurt. They find Anders, unconscious. Josh initiates CPR but he's bawling in the process seeing his brother like this. Now we're throwing some emotional investment in to this. Raleigh gets up and digs around for Yuri. He finds her, but she's already dead. He starts crying like a little girl. Scene fades out. So now we've established a background. 2 brothers left: both have lost a close brother, and one lost his fiancée. Both have emotional baggage, they've shared a deep emotional and traumatic experience and so have strong "drift compatibility." Now Raleigh and his brother can have a deep-seeded hatred for the Kaiju, not just the "hey, we're pilots and so we're badass rockstars" mentality. Now it's personal and there is some emotional investment. They have the batman mentality. END Chapter 1. Months later they can show that the brothers have recovered and back in good health. The people of earth are trying to figure out what in the world happened. As the military investigates, the two brothers are given their patrol assignments.

Pre-K Graduation - A Tale of 2 Cities

Recently, D graduated from his Pre-K class and participated in the graduation ceremony. Prior to the ceremony, the kids were supposed to write on a sheet of paper what they wanted to be when they grew up. As each child crossed the stage to get their diploma the teacher would read aloud to everyone what each child's career goals were. The first little girl wanted to be a doctor. Strong start. I wasn't sure what type of doctor she was talking about, though. Physician? Chiropractor? Dentist? PhD? Well, whatever. It was a fine aspiration. Following the little girl, D could already be seen, eagerly awaiting his turn in line. He couldn't sit still, and as a spectator it was somewhat amusing to see his teacher swipe at him to try and hold him back until his name was called. Unfortunately, she was a tad bit too slow, as D bolted with excitement up to the podium to collect his medal and diploma. His teacher then called his name as he stood before her with a huge smile on his face. Hmm, okay. That's typically not how graduation ceremonies go, but as my offspring I expect nothing less than the unusual. "D would like to be a robot when he grows up." ...Speechless. Wait, what? Laughter erupted from the audience as anyone would expect with that answer. Again, unusual and unexpected but I should be getting accustomed to that by now. How bizarre of a statement was that, though? The randomness of that answer rivaled "My Life to My Papa". My wife and I exchanged glances that were mixed with confusion and amusement. Well, at least it was a very unique answer. Later that evening, after the excitement of graduation died down and we were at home getting the kids to bed and D was a little more calm and somber, I asked him why he had chosen to write down robot as his career goal. Again, I was not prepared for his answer, "I want to be a robot because robots don't die," he answered. Oh dear. So this just wasn't just some facetious/comedic statement he had made just to make everyone laugh and solidify his status as class-clown. It was a much deeper topic. And who could blame him for saying that, as I recalled this concept scared the hell out of me when I first understood the meaning at D's age. Upon further questioning, he told me he wanted to be like Data, from Star Trek the Next Generation. Of course, Data being an android, was not susceptible to any human weaknesses, nor did he age. He could break down and have malfunctions but he wouldn't die a natural death like humans would. R and I did explain to D that robots could break down and malfunction, as well, to which D answered, "Oh." But who really knows what was going on inside that little brain of his. So when a child makes a random, possibly funny statement, it may have a much deeper meaning. Or it could mean nothing, but don't assume that.

Potty Training

Every parent knows potty training can be a nightmare, and our experiences with the kids were nothing less. Unfortunately, any tale involving the phrase "potty training" is bound to leave somewhat of a bad taste in anyone's mouth. These stories are just gross, yet inevitable. But like I always say, "if you're a parent, you're going to get your hands dirty." If you have a sensitive stomach to the subject, then read no further. But if you're a parent then you've seen it all and should have nerves of steel by now. I'm not going to go in depth about the time I woke up one morning to find fecal matter strewn all over Dryden's bathroom (mirror, sink, faucet, floor and all), or the multiple occasions I found liquid excrement oozing out from underneath the bathroom door. But Thing 1 has cleaned himself up and ironically he's now somewhat of a germiphobe. Now it's Keenan's turn. Keenan has done quite well, actually. He caught on and was potty trained after 2 weeks. Now, if he could only wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, he'd be all set. Unfortunately, he's such a heavy sleeper he usually just wets his bed. And under normal circumstances, I would leave him in his wet clothes until he learned to hold it longer or wake up to go to the bathroom. However, Keenan has developed a habit of climbing in to bed with us in the middle of the night, wet clothes and all. Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night and he's there, I feel his pants to see if they're wet. Usually, they are and my discovery is commonly followed by a Chinese "ai-yah! You're all wet!!!" just before kicking him out of the bed. One morning, however, Keenan tried to think his way around this. Rather than changing out of his wet clothes and putting on a fresh set of pajamas, he just removed his wet clothes and then climbed in to our bed. And that's how I found him when I woke up that morning; with no underwear or pants! I could completely understand what he was thinking that morning. "If I remove my wet clothes, Dad won't kick me out!"

Orlando, FL - Day #3 Magic Kingdom

Lying in bed at 7:30am I thought, no way! How is it possible that Thing 1 is up, awake, hyper, and ready to go, go? He hasn't slept much in 2 days, and it's been a long 2 days! When will he EVER want to rest? When will he sleep? Where is this energy coming from? And most importantly, how do I get some of that? Enough whining, get your butt out of bed you lazy piece of crap.Thus, began day 3. Like every vacation that we've been on, this one seemed just as physically demanding as the rest of them were. Unlike the others, however we were planning on visiting Magic Kingdom this day. But even as an adult with arguably childish hobbies, how excited can someone possibly become about visiting Magic Kingdom? When I was six years old I would have been going out of my mind, and in fact I think I did that one time my family and I went to Disneyland in LA (of course Mom put an end to that very quickly with yelling and beating which resulted in crying, screaming, and Kodak moments that immortalized that entire experience). This was going to be different, though! This time I was there as the parent with my own family, and my good buddies from residency were there with their families.

So out the door we went at 9am. I didn't realize that the parks actually open at 9am; I thought they were already open at 7 or 8am. No wonder the parking lots seemed almost empty when we arrived that day. Another peculiarity about at Magic Kingdom was how one actually entered the park. I was accustomed to parking the car, then riding a trolley to the front entrance to buy your ticket. Not the case here. For anyone who hasn't been here you have to park your car, then take the trolley to the main gate, then from the main gate take a train or boat over to the front entrance....and from the front entrance you ride a hot air balloon to this beacon in the mountains, where a pack of dogs and a sled team takes you to a guide awaiting your arrival on this glacier where you travel on foot until......Okay, not the latter three. But you get the point.


Izzy, Thing 1, and Thing 2. Looks like someone fell in the back there.


That bulge is my cel phone. No, really.

Magic Kingdom is where all the classic rides were, and I think we rode them all. One reason we were able to do so is because the weather wasn't very kind to us in the morning. Sure no one likes 80 degrees and 90% humidity at 9am, but 65 degrees and rain and drizzle aren't weather favorites on most people's list, either which was the case here. So the wait times weren't too bad for each ride; maybe 20 minutes was the longest. Snow white, Small World, Peter Pan, and Haunted Mansion were all done. The kids loved it.


Although it was tough to tell with Dryden's expression, or lack of. I couldn't tell if it was boredom, stoicism, or stimulus overload. It couldn't have been fatigue because this was the first ride of the morning.






Now, usually Small World is my least favorite ride and it's something that I never had a particular interest in. But am I must say I was very thankful for this ride on this day. It was during this ride that I had time enough, and it was dark enough that I figured out that my camera flash wasn't going off. Thank God for Sony's technology for capturing light in low-light areas. I would have had even worse pictures than I already had; no wonder everything was slightly blurry or under-exposed!

Stupid camera! Where's my auto-flash?

While we were walking, we saw this sign that said "start time: 2 minutes". I had no idea what it was, but everyone just starting running in this building. When in doubt, follow the leader. Following K, we plunged deeper and deeper into the dimly lit and winding corridors until we stopped at a counter with glasses. A show! And a 3-D one, no doubt. This would be interesting, as neither of the kids have ever watched anything in 3-D.

During the show, needless to say Thing 1 and his buddy Iz were having a blast, laughing it up through the whole show. At one point, Thing 1 was swiping the air in front of him, trying to grasp at the 3-D images he saw. Meanwhile, Thing 2 had no clue what was going on. He was content to watch the show WITHOUT the 3-D glasses, which meant watching a blurry show. Everytime I put the glasses on him, he'd watch the screen for 5 seconds and then start screaming. Granted, Thing 2 is a big chicken to begin with but when you're 2 years old and you're watching Donald Duck throwing a fit as if he were on an LSD high, I can see how things can get a little scary.

It was approaching noon, and there were still so many things to do and see. One thing that K recommended was a show that played every so often at the castle. Not sure what it was all about since we missed the beginning but there were characters, singing, dancing, and music.



Whatever it was, it was enough to entertain hundreds of people.

By the time the show was over, it was past noon and by that time we were all hungry. Time for lunch, but where to go? We ended up eating what Roxanna fondly referred to as park food in a little tavern/restaurant next to the Haunted Mansion. I'm still trying not to think of where they got their meat. That didn't stop Dryden from devouring his food, nor did it thwart his attempts at devouring his brother's, mother's or my food.

I actually tried taking pictures and video inside the Haunted Mansion but it was so bloody dark it was pointless. Now that I think about it, I should have taken out my old Sony bazooka video cam with night vision. Oh well, maybe next time.

After the Mansion, K and the family were "parked" out, having visited amusement parks all day for the 3rd or 4th day straight. And who can blame them? There's only so much happy-happy-cheerie-brightness one can take. I almost felt like I needed to watch Dark Knight to balance things out. But I had just the remedy for that, something that would enable us to stay at the park a few hours longer.

Pirates of the Caribbean! Another dark ride, literally. Luckily the whole Pirates mania had died down by this time (I guess some thanks should also go to the horrible writers of the 2nd and 3rd movies). Again, throughout most of the ride I was watching Dryden's face for some sort reaction, but like a Small World, Dryden was very stoic. Sensory overload, again, perhaps? He actually showed more emotion and excitement after the ride when we walked out in to the souvenir store for Pirates. Unfortunately, the same thing happened as in the Mansion and the whole ride wasn't very picture friendly. Oh well, no pictures of this, either.

Afterwards, we wandered for an hour or so, watched another parade, and then finally decided to go on one more ride before heading home. Of all rides, I'm not sure why we wanted to go back to Dumbo. But we did, and so there we were. Obviously, Keenan was too young to go on this. So R and Thing 1 would ride Dumbo while Keenan and I watched from below. It was during this time where I started to play around with my camera a bit more in preparation for taking R's and Thing 1's pictures during the rides. I took about 4 test runs and they all went fine. By the 4th time, I think people were beginning to wonder why I was randomly taking pictures of strangers on a ride. And of course as Vince-luck would have it, once R and Thing 1 got on the ride I blew it! I took a bunch of blurry pictures, but thank god I was able to recover and got some nice shots.




It appears that everyone was still having fun. But actually we were all dead-tired by this point and wanted to go home. So that's what we did.

Orlando, FL - Day #2 - Marathon Day

This morning was pretty tough: sleeping in an unfamiliar bed always makes me sore everywhere in the morning. I was still operating on a bad sleep deficit that probably rivals our national deficit in terms of hours. And what REALLY didn't help was the fact that Thing 1 was SO wound up from the trip that he didn't sleep until 11pm the night before, kept Thing 2 up all night as well, and woke up at 7-ish.

But that was fine. Getting up early would tire both kids out and also let us get a good jump start to the day. Apparently, we had a lunch reservation at one of the Disneyworld Parks, the Hollywood Studios to be exact. The funny thing about this, or the not-so-funny thing about this (depending on how you look at it) is that this reservation was apparently made months ago and I had no idea that we even had a reservation, what it was all about, where it was, or anything. In retrospect, I recall talking to Kev about it and he mentioned it off-handedly the day before. However, as I inquired more about this and my confusion quickly became apparent he deftly changed the topic of conversation. Slick, but it didn't go unnoticed, Kev.



This reminds me of National Lampoon's Vacation trying to get to Wally World. At this point, I felt like Chevy Chase running through the parking lot. We had finally made it.



So this is what the lunch reservation was all about:

Having lunch while a group of Disney Characters walked around, signed autographs, took pictures, and danced to music. From the kids' perspective I can see how this was loads of fun. From the parents' perspective it was great, too because you'r children could be loud and unruly and it was okay. Because ALL the children in the restaurant were like that when the Disney characters started dancing and singing and you didn't have to worry about your children bothering anyone else's quiet mealtime. Also, it was an all-you-can-eat buffet with decent food. That was KEY!



For some inexplicable reason Thing 1 took a particular liking to Oso. And if you can imagine this picture with both of them jumping up and down in unison, that's exactly what happened. It was hilarious.



Now for some strange reason, Thing 2 really didn't like any of the characters. Not one. I'm not sure if it's because the costumes make them look 10 times bigger or what. He was quite scared when they came by for photos.



Sorry, Thing 2, but this is going on the internet for all to see. Almost as funny as my niece's picture with Goofy when she was about 3-4 or so. Actually, funnier.

After lunch, we headed out and just outside the door was Star Tours. Unfortunately, Thing 1 was about 1 inch too short and wasn't allowed on to the ride. Sorry, kid. Next time. But that didn't stop Kev. So away he went. And somehow R convinced me to follow him so I found myself in line, too.



But Kev and J were too far ahead of me and I didn't want to cut in line. So whoopee! Here I am, riding a thrill ride....by myself. It was then that I realized that parents have fun at these amusement parks when their kids have fun. I couldn't care less about going on these rides on my own. But when I have my family with me and they're having loads of fun, it doesn't matter what ride I'm on, or how lame or awesome it is, or what we're actually doing. If Thing 1 and I went on the Cinderella ride and he loved it, then I'd be enjoying myself, too.....I'd just be getting in touch with my feminine side. Which is what actually happened. KIDDING! There's no such thing as a Cinderellla ride.



So after Star Tours, I came out of the ride and couldn't find anyone. Not even Kev, who was just ahead of me. R and the kids were no where in sight. It's times like these when I'm thankful that I have the car keys. So I called up R and she told me where she was, which wasn't helpful in the least because R had the map. She could have told me she was at the front entrance and I'd have no clue which way to go. So I did what any typical guy would do: wander aimlessly without stopping and asking for directions.


I wandered the streets of Manhattan for a bit. Just like I did when I was a med student and I was doing rotations in New Jersey and New York City. Believe it or not, there are some similarities between Disney and NYC: it's definitely an international place with people from just about every country speaking many different languages, there's a ton of things to do and see, and you can easily get trampled to death by the mob.


Then I wandered the streets of San Francisco for a bit. Not really sure why, though since I lived there for about 20 years. So things weren't looking so good, especially since I was heading back in to the neighborhood of San Fran. Hell, I had to get out of there fast!

Thank goodness just past the next snack bar I caught up with our baby caravan. R and Thing 1 had lined up to take pictures with Buzz and Woody, leaving everyone else outside. It was a 45 minute wait and so while I tried to amuse Thing 2 outside, Thing 1 and R were slowly making their way towards the promised land.

That's not to say we weren't amused, though. While we were waiting, Thing 2 had fun pushing around the stroller in circles. And I had fun watching the Green Army Man character from Toy Story scare the crap out of Thing 2.


Good work soldier! Keep on scaring those kids; it's a matter of national security.


Meanwhile.....



Thank goodness they had things for kids to see and do during their 45 minute wait to see Buzz and Woody. I'm not sure what his expression was all about...maybe making a face makes you fly higher?








Finally, the promised land!!! What amazed me about this whole thing is that Thing 1 was such a good boy during this whole time. And I could tell that by R: she was smiling and pleasant. See, there's no need to ask, "How did things go with the kids? Did Thing 1 misbehave? Was he difficult?" It's all readable in the Mom. When Mom is happy and laughing, smiling, and pleasant, then you know the kids behaved and were good. When Mom looks disheveled and her eyes are glowing crimson with a dark expression, no need to ask. You know the kids were bad. And the first thing you don't want to ask is, "how were the kids?" But if you are clueless/brave enough to ask, be sure you're out of projectile range or that you can dive for cover behind something close by.



Uhhh.....who is this guy, again?

By this time, it had been about 2 hours after lunch and Thing 1's bladder must have been exploding. First order of business: Thing 1 to do Number 1. So we walked a bit further and found the washrooms. Ironically, we wandered in to the area where there were a bunch of OTHER Disney characters taking pictures, signing autographs, etc., etc. I figured why not just check out the lines, see how long they were, and if they weren't too bad we could line up some more.


More Jake the Pirate. I still have no idea who this is or what he's all about.


Thing 1 had no clue who these guys were or what they were all about but I had him take pictures with them anyway.


First thing he did was hug Pooh. Not even sure why. Maybe it's because he's a big furry animal and the first instinct is to hug him?

After that we headed back towards Star Tours because I had seen earlier they actually have a little skit for people to see and for kids to participate in. I was hoping Thing 1 would be able to take part; lightsaber battles with Darth Vader. Who wouldn't love that? But as we did a 180 and began our walk back, we noticed a crowd starting to line the streets. Apparently, a parade was about to begin. So we jockeyed for a spot in the front row and waited...and waited...and waited in the hot sun and slightly humid air with other hot and sweaty people hovering just over us. And so finally the parade started.

Just when they went to sleep!

So the dilemma was: the kids were obviously tired. Should we wake them up to see this parade that we've all suffered and waited for or should we just let them sleep and catch up on rest and have them miss out on all the Disney characters parading? Who knows when the next opportunity would be to see all the characters all at once so close, again. It's times like these when for some reason I can clearly hear Gah's voice telling me,

"Ah, let 'em sleep later! They'll won't have a chance to see this again for a long time." Okay, wake up! Wake up!

Funny thing happened during this parade. We actually saw a Thing 1 in the parade! Since when did they make a character out of my son?
Can we collect royalties on that? So just in case you can't really see the resemblance...




See? No difference, right? I swear Disney has our family pegged. Check out these other pictures:



Yeah, I can't tell the difference either.

But anyways, seeing the characters from Up was probably the highlight of the event because it was like seeing Thing 1 as himself in the parade. Journey on!

Back at Star Tours, Thing 1 watched as all the stories about Darth Vader not being real faded away. Seeing him live and in person made Vader just as real as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy. Which is fine because that's exactly what I believed in when I grew up: Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy, and Darth Vader. (Yes, a very disturbed childhood)




By this time, it was late. The sun was setting and it was about 5-ish. At this point we had a choice between calling it a day and going home, or checking out Fantasmic. Again, this was another dilemma: we were all tired and hungry. Should we go home and rest or should be press on and get every penny's worth out of our admission ticket regardless of how excruciating it was? We opted for the latter, which in retrospect was probably a big mistake for reasons I'll explain later. So we bought dinner (park food, or overpriced fast food. Whichever term you prefer) and went to go get seats for Fantasmic.

Now I have no problem getting to shows early for good seating, especially when I'm on vacation. But we were about 1 hour early and we had 2 restless and tired munchkins whom we had to keep amused without scolding them or going crazy. Ethan Hunt, where are you? But we did it, we lasted and so did the kids. They watched and enjoyed the show even though they had no clue what was going on. It was all eye candy for them: lights, and fireworks, and dragons, and canons, etc., etc. And the blaring music that was 10 decibles too high from speakers that were too close to the audience. 2 minutes in to it and my ears were ringing and my head was pounding. Hell, I had no clue what was going on either at that point.



Finally! It was time to go home. Remarkably, we got home around 8-ish and were able to bath and put them to bed by 9pm. I thought that after this day, the kids would be so wiped out and they would go down like a ton of bricks. That was true of Thing 2 because he was unconscious the second we put him in his crib. I have no idea where Thing 1 got his energy but he was wound up again and was fooling around until about 10pm before drifting off to sleep.

Orlando, FL - Day 1

When you have that feeling that you've forgotten something when you leave the house, you probably have. Especially when it's 7am and you're on your way to the airport. The adventures started already when we left the house. The kids were packed, we were packed and we were running late as usual (It probably didn't help that I played hockey the night before- a possible explanation for me moving a little slowly). About 5 minutes in to our drive to the airport, R realized that she had forgotten her glasses.

"Oh well, that's okay. Everything will just be really blurry for a few days, then." Well, what's the point of going to Disney World and Universal Studios if you can't see? So I turned the van around and returned home. We picked up R's glasses and headed out to the airport once, again.....not realizing that I had forgotten my checkbook, as well. Not something you want to leave at home when you're going on a trip.

The 180 minute plane ride was grueling as could be expected with a 4 year-old and a 19 month-old. But we survived (barely) and arrived in sunny Orlando where it was a balmy 80 degrees. NOT the perfect weather for jacket, jeans and long sleeves. But when you're leaving an area where it's 40 degrees, how do you dress?

So already when we disembarked the plane, we were all already uncomfortable, sleepy, tired, and hungry. Now add to that hot and sweaty. Next order of business: collect luggage and get the rental car. Sounds simple enough, right? For those of you who have never driven at Orlando, FL international airport, let me say that it is a little stressful. The signs to return to the terminal are about as confusing as trying to navigate the Los Angeles freeways. The signs read:

"Return to Terminal A, far right. B, far left." So you go right. Then,

"Return to Terminal A, far left. B, far right." What? Crap! So you change 3 lanes over, almost ramming the 2 cars flying up behind you in your blind spot. Then,

"Return to Terminal A, far right. B, far left." Dammit, I was just there! You try to change lanes back, but too late. You're leaving the airport. Then you have to decide if you'd like to leave the airport via the north exit, or the south exit. Uhhh.....what difference does it make?

After 2-3 laps of this I finally got the hang of it and made my way back to the correct terminal where R and the kids were waiting. Kev waited there with R so that she wouldn't be left all alone with the kids. That was super cool. The next 5 minutes or so was spent loading up the car, getting the car seats installed, and....figuring out where I was going.

Which brings me to another point: always know where you're headed from the airport. The Top Gun Maverick "Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" thing doesn't work well in these situations. I was planning on following Kev to the hotel since we were all staying at the same hotel. And being that he was driving a minivan and I was driving an SUV, it should be no problem keeping up.

Wrong again. That guy has a lead foot regardless of what vehicle he drives, so needless to say I lost him. More stress. I quickly asked R to help me navigate via her Maps app on the iPhone, but of course we were in a location where the iPhone couldn't get a good signal. So much for fancy shmancy iPhone 3G blah, blah, blah. More stress. At that point I got a little snippy, but unrightfully so. So I kept my mouth shut and just drove.

About 20-30 minutes later we reached our destination, the Sheraton Vistana Resort where I met up with my good buddy from residency, Kris and his family. By that time it was 3-4pm. Too late to do anything interesting with kids, so we just got some take-out and called it a night.