Pre-K Graduation - A Tale of 2 Cities

Recently, D graduated from his Pre-K class and participated in the graduation ceremony. Prior to the ceremony, the kids were supposed to write on a sheet of paper what they wanted to be when they grew up. As each child crossed the stage to get their diploma the teacher would read aloud to everyone what each child's career goals were. The first little girl wanted to be a doctor. Strong start. I wasn't sure what type of doctor she was talking about, though. Physician? Chiropractor? Dentist? PhD? Well, whatever. It was a fine aspiration. Following the little girl, D could already be seen, eagerly awaiting his turn in line. He couldn't sit still, and as a spectator it was somewhat amusing to see his teacher swipe at him to try and hold him back until his name was called. Unfortunately, she was a tad bit too slow, as D bolted with excitement up to the podium to collect his medal and diploma. His teacher then called his name as he stood before her with a huge smile on his face. Hmm, okay. That's typically not how graduation ceremonies go, but as my offspring I expect nothing less than the unusual. "D would like to be a robot when he grows up." ...Speechless. Wait, what? Laughter erupted from the audience as anyone would expect with that answer. Again, unusual and unexpected but I should be getting accustomed to that by now. How bizarre of a statement was that, though? The randomness of that answer rivaled "My Life to My Papa". My wife and I exchanged glances that were mixed with confusion and amusement. Well, at least it was a very unique answer. Later that evening, after the excitement of graduation died down and we were at home getting the kids to bed and D was a little more calm and somber, I asked him why he had chosen to write down robot as his career goal. Again, I was not prepared for his answer, "I want to be a robot because robots don't die," he answered. Oh dear. So this just wasn't just some facetious/comedic statement he had made just to make everyone laugh and solidify his status as class-clown. It was a much deeper topic. And who could blame him for saying that, as I recalled this concept scared the hell out of me when I first understood the meaning at D's age. Upon further questioning, he told me he wanted to be like Data, from Star Trek the Next Generation. Of course, Data being an android, was not susceptible to any human weaknesses, nor did he age. He could break down and have malfunctions but he wouldn't die a natural death like humans would. R and I did explain to D that robots could break down and malfunction, as well, to which D answered, "Oh." But who really knows what was going on inside that little brain of his. So when a child makes a random, possibly funny statement, it may have a much deeper meaning. Or it could mean nothing, but don't assume that.

Potty Training

Every parent knows potty training can be a nightmare, and our experiences with the kids were nothing less. Unfortunately, any tale involving the phrase "potty training" is bound to leave somewhat of a bad taste in anyone's mouth. These stories are just gross, yet inevitable. But like I always say, "if you're a parent, you're going to get your hands dirty." If you have a sensitive stomach to the subject, then read no further. But if you're a parent then you've seen it all and should have nerves of steel by now. I'm not going to go in depth about the time I woke up one morning to find fecal matter strewn all over Dryden's bathroom (mirror, sink, faucet, floor and all), or the multiple occasions I found liquid excrement oozing out from underneath the bathroom door. But Thing 1 has cleaned himself up and ironically he's now somewhat of a germiphobe. Now it's Keenan's turn. Keenan has done quite well, actually. He caught on and was potty trained after 2 weeks. Now, if he could only wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, he'd be all set. Unfortunately, he's such a heavy sleeper he usually just wets his bed. And under normal circumstances, I would leave him in his wet clothes until he learned to hold it longer or wake up to go to the bathroom. However, Keenan has developed a habit of climbing in to bed with us in the middle of the night, wet clothes and all. Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night and he's there, I feel his pants to see if they're wet. Usually, they are and my discovery is commonly followed by a Chinese "ai-yah! You're all wet!!!" just before kicking him out of the bed. One morning, however, Keenan tried to think his way around this. Rather than changing out of his wet clothes and putting on a fresh set of pajamas, he just removed his wet clothes and then climbed in to our bed. And that's how I found him when I woke up that morning; with no underwear or pants! I could completely understand what he was thinking that morning. "If I remove my wet clothes, Dad won't kick me out!"